Expectations.

I really should stop writing shit down because after I do that, it all seems to go south. So much for CJ...I have no idea what happened. Of course, he's a man, so he's not gonna tell me! I'm tired of the shit. When do I get to be happy? When does something good happen for me? Ever? Whatever...

I love when you tell me that I'm pretty
When I just woke up
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody
But it's never too much
I'm falling fast but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You broke my walls

So lay here beside me just hold me and don't let go
This feelin' I'm feelin' is somethin' I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

I don't think I've felt this in a long time. The
past five days have been so much fun! I've spent
every night with CJ and I'm kind of sad that I'm
home tonight and can't spend it with him. Maybe I'm
crazy. Maybe I'm getting too involved, too quickly.
Maybe he doesn't want this at all. I get nervous
so easily..because I don't want to get hurt again.
I've spent my life getting hurt by people, and I
don't want him to be another one. But honestly,
I like him. It's amazing how things work out.
I was so pissed about blowing my tire, and so
freaked out. But, if I hadn't done that, I
wouldn't have met such a great guy. I just
hope things keep getting better with us!

This is new to me

I love kids. I've always loved kids. Ever since I was a little girl and used to beg my mom to have another child, I guess it showed how spoiled I was when she actually had one! Children are a true gift, and I've always known that. However, I know that I'm not ready to be a mom by any means. This brings me to my dilemma. I recently met a new guy..yeah, go figure..I get bored easily obviously! The story of how I met him is pretty interesting as well. Standing in line to get a new tire at wally world, pissed at the sales rep for not helping me, and there he was. He advised me of a different place to go, telling me I should never go to Wal-Mart for auto needs. I knew this fact, but at the time, it was the practical choice. Anyway, he got my number and told me of a better place to go and that if I had questions on how to get there that he'd help. So, there I was in Wal-Mart talking to this guy that was very attractive and really nice to have helped me out, and now I had his number and he had mine. But, I went home. I was just hanging around my apartment, and my phone goes off. It's a text from him! I was kind of in shock a bit, didn't expect him to text me...after all, I considered him out of my league. So, we got to texting, and he invited me over. So, I spent the night with him..nothing happened, just hung out and got to know each other. Well, one of the interesting facts I discovered about him was that he has 2 kids. Usually this fact would send me packing. I would normally have nothing to do with a young, single father with the possibility of baby mama drama. But, this seemed different. I guess it was a good thing that he let me get to know him before he revealed this to me! Who am I to judge his past choices? If he's a great guy, takes care of his kids and has his shit together, then why should I not give him a chance? So, that's exactly what I'm doing! He's just a great guy! I'm not saying that we're gonna get married and I'm gonna be a step-mom, but I'm ok with dating this guy even if he does have 2 children. Mostly because they're the cutest kids ever! Ok, maybe that's not entirely the reason, but they are cute kids! We will see how this guy goes, but so far so good! I'm definitely a fan! =)